here i am agian the same dark place i was when i first fell and hit the ground i had somone as my decoy and that just hit the fan :(
i cant understand whether each day im getting stronger or if i want him even more and more. I hate that people make me jelous ,,,i hate admiting i am i hate that i cant spell i hate that ****** excists i hate how stupid i am i hate **** i hate guys i hate love i hate crying i hate feeling i need him more and more everyday but i refuse to give in refuse because he doesnt care and that kills me the happy momments were i was a fool stabs me im sad im mad im pissed evan. Im not hopless if only i were that lucky.Im drowning in quick fixes thats ruining my brian...I crying yesterday when i was high...it was strange ...it was different....i dont know why i did it well one year ago yesterday ..since first kiss and that hurt more than anything has in my life.......... its pain its wicked its tourture its life. i dont think i will ever love agian ..the only thing i will ever surrender to is the blade and starvation.
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